Let Go
July 1, 2011

So, I lost my job today. It’s a weird feeling, to be honest. It’s something I feel like I should write about, but I don’t know if I have anything significant to say. Maybe I’ll throw in a symbolic metaphor. Can’t go wrong with metaphors.

I was let go, which implies I was being held back. But it’s more like when you let go of a balloon. You watch it soar into the air, feeling like you’ve set it free, but you haven’t. That balloon is probably freaking the hell out. You know…if balloons could freak out.

I applied for The Red Balloon Toy Store once in Provo. I thought the fact that I loved toys and would likely spend a lot of my paycheck in the store would be reason enough to hire me. They, apparently, disagreed. I ended up working at The Letterbox (a packing and shipping place) for three months until I told my boss he was incompetent for printing my paycheck on the back of a scrap piece of paper that had stuff written all over it. I stayed unemployed for a while after that.

I saw a cartoon by Don Hertzfeldt during college about sadistic balloons. It starts off with Billy getting tortured by his balloon and eventually escalates into an entire group of children having horrific balloon experiences. Here’s the video (this is not for children):

You know, maybe you can go wrong with metaphors.

This Has to Be a Joke, Right?
March 31, 2011

Okay, I play Achaea, an online MUD. Here is the style and design for the old website:

And so I’m reading the game news before logging on and I see this:

ANNOUNCE NEWS #3420
Date: 4/1/2011 at 1:12
From: Tecton, the Terraformer
To : Everyone
Subj: Website changes

As you may be aware, we’ve been in the process of commissioning new art
for an updated website. After ten of thousands of dollars and many
months of collaboration with designers and artists, we’re pleased to
unveil our new website, filled with cutting-edge, next-gen, Web 2.0
technologies and media.

We feel that this new website will be a great marketing tool, propelling
us into the big leagues, with website features that rival our
competitors such as World of Warcraft, Rift, and Everquest 2.

Enjoy!

Head over to http://www.achaea.com today and check it out!

So I do just that. I head on over and check it out. And I see this (what you can’t see is the classy midi music file playing on repeat in the background):

And I freak the hell out. I stare at the page in utter disgust. I take screen shots, I furiously type this blog post, I outrage to at least two people on MSN…

And then I remembered the date in Britain (which is where the headquarters of Achaea is).

So yes. Yes, it does have to be a joke. Because it’s bloody April Fool’s Day. Tricked before the day even started officially for me. And with something so obvious too. I’m going to hate tomorrow.

Happy Birthday Daniel!
October 21, 2010

Earlier in this blog’s history, I posted a bunch of emails I received that were intended for a different Jill. Well, I got another one today, so I thought I’d share:

Dear Jill,

Thanks for calling on my birthday and for sending a card. It was a great party!

Hope to see you soon!

Oh and i’m sending you a photo of the party

If this wasn’t a costume party, Daniel has some very weird friends. But, either way, it’s nice to know that the other Jill is nice.

My Inappropriate Weekend
May 18, 2010

At a work lunch yesterday, I was asked what I did over the weekend. Be it my soft voice (what?) or the loud restaurant or the groups’ general apathy towards my answer to such a default question, my initial response went unheard. All of my follow-up comments describing the event, however, were heard loud and clear, much to the growing embarrassment of those around me.

Me: Well the lights were off and we were in his room.

Them: Who?

Me: Chad. I spent Friday night at Chad’s apartment. It wasn’t all that scary though. I thought it would be scarier.

Them: Oh?

Me: Yeah, Chad was more afraid than I was. And he’d seen it before!

Them: Oh…I see.

Me: I did scream really loud at the end, though.

Them: O_O

Me: What?

Them: I don’t know. All I know is that you were in Chad’s room last night, in the dark, performing some abnormal activity.

Me: O_O. I SAID I WAS WATCHING PARANORMAL ACTIVITY.

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